A Clockwork Orange. Welly, welly, welly, well

I'll tell you why I hate sleepovers. The last sleepover I went to was one at Marianne's and we were like thirteen years old and we were up to like midnight, and we ended up watching SBS. As you know, NO ONE should watching SBS at that hour unless they like movies that have fifteen different warnings before the movie starts. We accidentally ended up watching Clockwork Orange, which totally freaked me out and scarred me for life. Then Marianne goes "I think the main character is kinda hot" and Lexi says to me "according to the love calculator Alex Burgess and Eliza Boans score 94%" and I was like "he's a murderer okay??" Fast forward three years later and well... I guess God is funny or something.

I woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweat over this memory and I thought I'd hunt out the novel since a) I review, like, classics on this blog and b) I might find some answers and get over something. Maybe.

"What's it going to be then, eh? There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie and Dim. Dim being really dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening."

Thus begins A Clockwork Orange. It's narrated in Nadsat, which is like the teenspeak of Alex and his friends of that age group and class. At first it's a little hard to understand, cos I think there's like 200 or so words made up for the author for the novel, but after a few pages I found I got right into it. I didn't have to understand every single word to get the gist of it if that makes any sense.

It's about Alex and his friends who like to go out every night wrecking havoc on the town, until one day when Alex tries to assert his authoritayy and his friends decide to bail his out and let him get blamed for murder. Ack. Friends huh? Alex gets shipped off to be rehabilitated and turned into a "good person" and it's this freedom of choice and what is morality that the book centres on.

I know a lot has been made of the violence (which is how I first got introduced to it), but it's also very clever and surprisingly funny. And I mean really, really funny as well. Like when Alex goes into a music shop and it's overrun by kids who are younger than him and they speak in this weirdass language of their own going heee! and they're like, a parody of teenyboppers and they think that Alex is like ancient.

And then there is Alex himself. The anti-hero. He's a murderer, a thug and a rapist. I should hate him, but in a way I found I grew to really relate to him and it wasn't what he did that disgusted me, but what in turn happens to him. There's something heartbreaking in the concept that what goes around, comes around - and when it does, three times harder, it really does hurt.

The final chapter is the most sweetest thing I might have ever read and maybe one of my favorite of all time. It's the "missing chapter" from the movie. In the novel, Alex is back in society and he has a new gang and he's out again doing what he did before, but he's changing. He like thinks to himself "akshully, I'd rather be at home with a cup of tea", which leaves us with the message that you can try to change a person as much as you like, but in the end as they grow up, they change anyway. And that made me think, like, about myself and how things are changing in my own life. I wouldn't mind if I met Alex, he's unapologetic, like me. I'm sure one of us will kill the other.

I thought about this book for a long time; I'm still thinking about it. As you can tell, I'm in a right stroppy-sad mood, but like thoughtful and kinda... emo. Erk. Before you know it I'll stop caring about what I wear and start going around in tutus that look like they're from Pumpkin Patch.

Highly recommended if you can take violence and black humour and are sick of pissy dystopian reads and want like a totes proper dytopian read.

The Sound of My Fury

I know I haven't posted for ages. Err, do I have an excuse? Err, sometimes nail polish takes ages to dry before I can type?

I'm going to review my fav classic book. Let me start by saying that this is a OMG WTF book. I started reading this and it made absolutely no sense. I was like "hold on there *Billy Faulks*". Who is Quentin? Is it a girl or a boy? Did someone have a sex change? But then I find out there are two Jasons and two Maurys along with the two Quentins and I am like who are all these people? The sex change actually sounds more plausible. But because I don’t want to be, like, reading some stupid chick lit book with a stupid title like “Harriet Potter and the Way Awesum Snog” (you know who you are!) I am going to persevere with my totally boffin book and I don’t care if no one wants to sit next to me at lunchtime.

I’m not that totally dumb and I figure out that the first chapter is being narrated by Benjy who is an “idiot son” (no, I am no longer taking about the ppl at my school, I am talking about the novel) and has no sense of time or space, so his thoughts are everywhere. I also decided there is no point in trying to figure anything out, so I just flow along with the narrative (and enjoy the writing, which is actually really good).

The second chapter is even more confusing. We’ve switched narrators and are now with Quentin (the boy one). He seems like a really intelligent and kind guy and his thoughts start to make sense when out of nowhere… DALTON AMES! DALTON AMES! He is the biggest emo ever. And this is 1910. I didn’t even think emo were invented back then. I’m like “calm down Quents, I know you don’t like this guy Dalton, but don’t lose your head over it…” But he does and even though I am still so confused, I feel so heartbroken for Quentin.

Next two chapters – okay, I’m starting to get it! Third chapter is narrated by Jason (the second one) and he talks totally linear (even though he's a total dick). And to my surprise I find that when he mentions people and events, even though he doesn’t elaborate on it, I’m going hey! I know who and what he’s talking about! It’s like I’ve absorbed bits of gossip (that I am good at) from the first 2 chapters and I just *know*. And the final chapter is in third person POV so it is pretty clear and I’m like okay, wow then. It was kinda fun! And worth the effort, phew! Dude, My brain is sweating bucketloads!!

So is this William Faulkner genius? He surely presents a story in a way I have never seen before. And unlike a normal story, which is hard to re-read cos you don’t want to read the same exposition *over again*, this is like a book you can just pick up and randomly read passages. This is a book that tries to make feelings, rather than events make a Sound and I guess that is where the title is from.

I find myself re-reading the Quentin chapter a lot. It makes me sad. It’s like emo poetry without the crappiness and I love all the feelings – is Quentin chapter the first ever ‘teen novel’ about teen suicide? I like to think so. And it sure is loud and furious and all things beautiful you find in damaged people.

I :Scatterheart: U - Scatterheart by Lili Wilkinson

“Once upon a time, there was a girl called Scatterheart, who was selfish and vain, with a heart as fickle as the changing winds...”

Hanna Cheshire is rich and spoilt. She has servants to wait on her hand and foot — and Thomas, a passionate young tutor who fills her head with stories.

Then one day her father disappears, and she is left to fend for herself. Alone and penniless, she is sentenced to transportation for a crime she didn't commit.

Once Hannah considered Thomas beneath her: a servant, a commoner. Now she thinks of him more and more.
But will she ever see him again?

One girl‘s adventure to find happiness becomes a fairytale within a fairytale. A romantic story of power and love.

Okay, so I am a snoot these days and only read the old stuff, but I will review the occasional modern book as a special exception. In my mailbox I have Scatterheart by Lili Wilkinson, sent to me by black dog books.

It has a brand spanking new purdy PURDY cover and I was immediately drawn to it because it has a young girl on the cover. I’m a young girl, I like to read about other young girls, that’s the fact. Then I find out that it’s about Australian History. I don’t know about you, but whenever we cover Australian History in class, I seriously make to sit up the back with the indie kids and pretend not to fall asleep, I mean convicts and first fleets and Captain Cooks and stuff? That’s boring!

But I decided to give Scatterheart a go because the blurb sounds pretty good, about a girl who gets accused of a crime she didn’t commit (me likey) and gets sent to ye olde Australia and she has a BIG story to tell.

Okay, lets say that the story sucked me completely in. I was supposed to do my homework, but I stayed up and read this book instead. The premise is that Hannah makes a big mistake by getting accused of a crime she didn't commit, but the real guilt she feels is over rejecting her kind and smart tutor Thomas because she is too proud. And along with this parallel is the fairytale of Scatterheart, a story that we learn bit by bit, finding that it mirrors the story that Hannah goes through herself.
Scatterheart is a journey of massive physical proportions, over oceans and basically all of Hell, but at the heart is an internal journey of Hannah trying to find the heart that she literally scattered to the wind and wants back.

This book, like, really spoke to me. I think everyone one of us can be counted guilty of doing something stupid, like rejecting something that would make us happy, only to find out too late. And also finding out we only know this because something very terrible happens instead. Hannah rejects Thomas only to find life goes really wrong and she has to suffer all sorts of abuse first in jail and then on a convict boat. I spent the whole book going, “if only she knew! Ahh, this is horrible, I wish she had said yes to Thomas cos he was a nice dude and she really was into him and she would have been okay.” So if you have ever felt this way, this book will make you confront it and it will make you cry. Not that I cried. Who moi? Okay, so I bawled my eyes out, what are you going to do? Deport me to Australia?

The verdict: I found that Australian history can be really interesting. I like how it’s told from the POV of a girl, which is really refreshing and important (yo! Girl power!). It’s pretty gruesome. But awesome cos Hannah grows up because of it. She’s feisty. I love a strong heroine. I want to meet Hannah and give her hugz. I won’t give away the ending, but if you want to read something that makes your own scatterheart go *thud* (oh come on! I know you secretly like romance) and go “hey, our history is kinda cool” - read this book!


ps - this is a re-post. Blogger "ate" my original entry AKA Eliza stupidly clicked delete

on the wrong side of the outside

Okay, to be honest, the first thing I thought when I got this book was “woah this is thin!” And by that I mean, like, novella thin and nothing like the you-know-who girls at school who think they’re supermodels. Then I thought “great, I can just get this over and done with quick”. Y’know, like when a boy asks you out and you go “what is it?” and he says “oh, just a soy milkshake” and you think “Guess it won’t take more than an hour. Fine.” You also think “why soy”? but ANYWAY back to the book….

I thought I wouldn’t like this novel. It involves a grown man, the death of his mother and politics and extenshia….existensionlis…*philosophy stuff* - none of the stuff I can relate to at all. But it’s a thin book, I was bored, so I thought I’d take it down to the grass by the lake and maybe the boys might catch me reading a smart book and think “wow, brains and hotness, ima ask her to the ball.”

After I finished this book I was like I LOVE THIS BOOK!

Firstly, I like how it has MOTHER ISSUES. We don’t get to meet Meursault’s mum, we find out about the same time as he does that she has died. And that’s when things start to go wrong. Everyone expects him to be all criez, but instead Meursault acts completely normal and that’s when ppl start to think he’s a bad person. Okay, I think I can safely say that everyone at one time or another has had a complex relationship with their mum and if something really horrible happens… well I can understand that ppl will act differently. Some ppl are good at expressing their feelings and some pple aren’t. Build a bridge. It doesn’t mean they don’t care. Meursault goes into some sort of post-traumatic stress and goes numb. So even tho everyone is like “what’s this dudes’ problem?”, I felt sorry for him.

Then there’s a MURDER. Meursault gets invited to some sort of adult schoolies at this place by the ocean and due to a really bad chain of events, ends up killing someone at the beach. So he has to go to jail and everyone tries to get him to criez some more and say he regretted it, but the dude is like, "I didn’t know the person, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind and it just happened – what do you want me to say?” I am not advocating murder, but it’s not like he’s an “evil” person. Some bad stuff went down and as a reader you are asked the Q – okay so this guy is a villain. Do you condemn him or do you think you can understand him better than that?

So that is, like, Existentialism (see I can spell it) which basically is “we exist, crap happens and sometimes there’s no meaning to life”. So like wow, I learnt something. It really got me thinking afterwards. Like how someone who just tells the truth gets blasted by society. I mean how many times have I told someone that their outfit looks awful (cos it does) and I get not thanks? In fact, everyone hates me for it. I thought Meursault was brave in the end for telling the truth. I felt bad for the dude that died, but I felt bad for Meursault too. He wasn’t going to say things that weren’t true for him.

I wanted to re-read some parts again and I even got annoyed when some boy from school interrupted me and I just thought “hey buddy, there’s more to life than wasting my time flirting with you”. So yeah, this one will bend your brain. I highly recommend. FB me if you read it too.

tonight i'm gonna party like it's 1984

Okay, Nineteen Eighty-Four was actually written in 1949 and it was supposed to be about the future. Well I guess when Prince sung about partying in 1999 and Silverchair sung about the year 2000 little did they know that today, it's like, soooo ten years ago.

So in alternate-future 1984, instead of people wearing fluro colours, lace gloves and permed hair and dancing to carefree eighties music, the fashion is less interesting and life is REALLY REALLY SERIOUS AND STRICT. Just like my high school. It gives off the appearance it's all progressive and free-choice, but in fact if you so much as put your pinkie toe out of line - BAM! Big Brother (aka the principal) or some sniveling traitor with some massive grudge, gets you. So I can relate to Nineteen Eighty-Four.

I can also relate to how there's a hierarchy with the Inner Party (the Populars and High-Achievers), the Outer Party (I reckon me and my group would be here) and the Proles at the bottom (the Normals and everyone else). The bullying goes top down and also inside your own group (boy do I know about that).

So I like all that stuff. But then I kinda have problems with the main characters. First there's Winston. He's so wet that he makes rain look dry. His idea of trying to rebel against Big Brother is to bash BB in his diary. Yeah Winston. Good One. Then there's Julia. Who's part of some Purity Club, but in fact she hooks up so regularly she makes my friend Marianne seem like a nun. One day Julia passes a love note to Winston who for no reason falls in love with her and they try to defy Big Brother by trying to hook up as many times as possible.

Now I query why my English Teach Mr Steele gave me this book cos obviously it sends a pretty bad message. I mean, if Winston and Julia spent their time trying to, like, bring BB down, I would have understood, but I spent the entire novel hoping they would hurry up and get caught. Their endless smooching annoyed me and seriously, I realised how much I wanted to be in the Inner Party just so I could smack them myself and then demand they do some hardcore canteen duty.

Verdict: lame love story aside, everything else is pretty good. Who would have thought Orwell would have predicted Big Brother the TV series?

dramatic pic of a dramatic popular peep

My English teacher Mr Steele has been trying to get me to read this one for ages and I’m like, “dude this is like 100 years old”, no thanks. And Oscar Wilde? Is he kinda like Matt Preston from Master Chef? But he gave me a copy anyway and I went to a health spa and while I was waiting for my facemask to work, I thought hey lemme give it a shot then. I quickly discovered it has cute boys and like, very DRAMATIC DEATHS WITH HANGING QUESTION MARKS LIKE THIS: ????? So it isn’t totes bad after all.

Anyway, the story is about this one Popular called Dorian Gray, a babe with curly blond locks and blue eyes. It proves my theory that even 100 years ago, Jocks still rocked the schoolyard. He has this one friend Basil who is all serious and artistic and a painter and this other friend Lord Henry who seriously has his super snark on. Since they are all rich, all they do is lounge around all day having pseudo-deep conversations and partying at night. Which OMG, reminds me of so so many ppl around here.

Basil paints Dorian this one time and it turns out extra gorgeous and Dorian goes “oh yeah, if only I could look like this forever and the picture would like grow old.” Due to some Freaky Friday type switchero, Dorian becomes the picture and the picture becomes him. So then Dorian becomes really debauched and stuff cos no matter what he does, he stays all innocent looking cos the picture gets all evil for him. The only problem is that his life spirals out of control and all sort of wrong starts to go down. Dorian thinks “well, ah, maybe this isn’t such a good idea guise…”, but is it too late?

I would recommend this book to, like, all the Goths and Emos. Y’know, all the boys who like to wear eyeliner and their girlfriend’s black jeans and have super angst. I don’t personally care for all the descriptions of how debauched Dorian got, I mean, seriously – a little less conversation, a little more action? But I do like how it’s pretty creepy, Lord Henry is a bigger bit** than Marianne and the ending is a kicker (no spoilers from me, you will have to read it urself).